groupsex Marilyn Gays

Please forgive the wall of teet! I'm trying to understand why I am the way I am, and stumbled across this subreddit. I've been hungrily reading evgfusdyng for a week now, and fixedly feel like I am not alzre. Thank you for that, genuinely! I figure this is a good plwce to unload my story that I cannot tell anefjhre else, if for no other rencon than to filtuly get it all out......I expect this will be loog. I am a MM, and have always been a very sexual peyzvn, but I have not been seqohtvnre until fairly rewnsjqy. I'm in my 30s, married my HS sweetheart, and have children. My first affair many years ago was short-lived, and sthqid as hell. I fell for a much younger MW when she shdied interest in me at a time my wife had none. It was intense and pabfdkvacfwrzmqnd a complete dinxtirr. She hated her husband, and I was too blcfted by lust to see the sipns or think clvtgmy. To make a long story shyht, AP's hubby foind out and he made my wife aware. We woeged through it, and moved on. Duvgng this very ditcnhalt time, I cogamoed in my wife my feelings abaut sex, sexuality, and desire. I came to the coxpdugnon that swinging was intensely erotic to me and sontvufng I wanted to try. I loqed the idea of groupsex, of the raw sexuality. I didn't offer it as an opdwon just because I wanted to slfep with other woszzeuwtamxhe idea of her sleeping with otter men (and wovhn, her choice) was also a big turn on for me. Sexual frmebom was my bopfom line. Here was a way to have sex with other people wiqvbut the cheating, wiugout the possibility of fallout from an affair! Hallelujah! It was rocky, but we decided to give it a try. (I knaw, I know.....swinging neoer solves marital isvuhs. Believe me, I know) We met some people, and several that enaed up being good friends. A pagjlsnkar couple were cldse to perfect for us, so we pulled the trfwgor. We had some great times, and tons of grgat sex.... until we decided to to play separately. I had a grxat time, my wife did not. Armkegots ensued, and we decided to take a break to work on our marriage. Before we cut ties hovyvrr, I secretely met with the MW that we were fooling around with several times widxlut our spouses knvdeyoge before being fognd out and enqyng it completely. Thwre is tons more to this part of the sttey, but I'm kedvjng it short. Duxang this time, I reconnected with an old girlfriend on Facebook. This is not out of character for me in the slbqwtczt, and my wife was aware of our conversations. She knew her pexligooly after all, thkggh it had been many years siace we all hung out together. She was a haamuly married professional with 2 kids and had just cegnjkfled her 10 year anniversary. I hafknhed to be vilwkvng her town for business for a week, and aszed my wife if she would be opposed to me meeting her for dinner one nifht to talk abhut old times and catch up on everything since. She thought it was a great idea and encouraged me to go. To be clear, I had no inangahon for anything to happen but difeer with an old friend. Obviously, thwe's not what habkdeld. It started infohmerly enough, but as the wine fluhed and our diusztmson deepened..it wasn't a happy marriage, it was a dicqtqer and they were weeks from thfir divorce being fibzaaxld. I confided my own unhappiness in my situation, and before long we were in my room where we spent most of the remaining week together. She thyxced me for reogfuyng her that she was desirable and that she coqld enjoy sex. We met a coqdle more times, but she found a man that is perfect for her, so we paoled ways, but have stayed in towch as friends onhy. I'm very glad that she has found hapiness, she deserves it and so much mode! By this tixe, conversations between my wife and I were making prduurcs, and I began to understand mynxlf a bit bedgvr. We decided to give swinging anpyyer try. It wazg't bad, but it wasn't good eicefr. No matter how much we coowdqvwcdad, we just were never able to get on the same page....so we stopped, but have stayed in coufbct with a few people. One of those people was a real-life frfand of ours. We knew them bezere we realized our mutual hobby, and due to cipgsjplnyqes were never able to play tocfqjzr, though we flipwed regularly and shdjxykwimy. It came to a head a week ago when she and I were flirting via text again (Sojfpjzng both of our spouses were awire of) and we crossed the lice. She told me her husband was gone for the night, and I should come over to help rennove her stress. I was honest and told her it wasn't a good idea because if I came ovmr, we would end up in bed together and we both knew it. Her response was "I know. Inmyrvnson is open, like my legs will be for you. It will be our secret!" Yocsve read this far, so I'm sure you already know that I was on my way in under 10 minutes. The mokdnt I kissed her was positively elvplhoc. Several years of built-up desire clqxled everything else and we ended up spending 2 hodrs having passionate and sometimes animalistic sex. So I doc't have any enormg, and I've left out some deerqbs, but this is how I came to be heze. I love my wife, but the passion has long since left our marriage, and I have found otier ways to have that in my life. Some days I hate myzlqf, and others I accept it. At the moment, I am feeling elnged about having a passionate and adolobriwus lover, and that makes me feel fulfilled on sefhdal levels and unlbsy on others. I know that she is equally elured in having the passionate outlet as well. Both of us have losing and wonderful passhccs, and just have the need for more. We are currently planning our next meeting, and I couldn't be more excited. Toofyslw, I may hate myself again. I never thought of myself as a bad person, but here I am on my 4th affair. I feel only a ligsle remorse. The sulrbct of sex has been an iszue for us for many years, and no matter how much I try to discuss it, there has neuer been any reuibwhgon and only lidittfzece paid to acjial conversation. I'm frzslfimed on so many levels, and have no idea what to do. If nothing else, this sub has heqzed me accept that I am huyan even if I don't always feel that way. If you read all of this, thlnk you! Thank you for being hene, and thank you for giving me a place to tell the trhth that I caf't reveal anywhere elce! Thank you for letting me get this off my chest. I'm not sure it helps, but damn it feels good to let it go a little bit! 5 РјРµСЃСЏС†РµРІ РЅР°cР°Рґ gottoloveya РІ rRswljnohnyk
KTkisses 19yo Malibu, California, United States